Ava Morgenstern: The Sad Life
by Just a Complicated Person
Summary: Ava reveals in her secret diary about the sad life she's been hiding from everyone around her. From her parents constant fighting, to her real reasons why she desperately wants to be "married" to Auggie. Chapter Two involves Maya's point of view when she comes to comfort Ava.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Ava Morgenstern. For as long as I can remember, I had a mommy and a daddy that were always mad at each other. I would never see them sit at the same dinner table together unless we had guests over. As I started to move beyond my preschool years, I started to hear my parents fight a lot. I'm not sure if it started when I was in kindergarten or if they just did a better job at hiding it when I was younger. The point was I was a little girl with a mommy and a daddy that were always fighting.

On the nights they yelled louder, I would sit curled up in a ball and lay on my bed secretly sad and crying. As I cried though, my eyes always went back to my doll house. In my doll house things were perfect. There was a a mommy doll and a daddy doll. Everything was perfect there. I wanted my parents to be like that. But I couldn't make them be that. I couldn't make my parents turn into a perfect mommy and daddy. So I decided that if I couldn't have a perfect mom and dad pair, I would create a perfect mom and dad pair.

I met Auggie as soon as I started kindergarten. He was nice and cute, so I decided he would be a perfect daddy that I could be a mommy with. And the best part was that he lived very close to me! So I started going over to his house all of the time! I acted like I was the perfect ideal mommy of the house (or at least what I thought a perfect ideal mommy acts like). I made Auggie act exactly like a perfect daddy acts, and I even treated his parents: Cory and Topanga exactly like you're supposed to treat the annoying in-laws of the family (okay, the only way I learned how to do that was from TV).

My life was becoming so good. I told Auggie he was my husband now, and he treated me like a wife. Everything was amazing... except for the part where my own mommy and daddy kept yelling at each other. The yelling increased, and they even started making threats at each other. I began to get more scared. Not just because of what was happening to them but I was starting to realize many kids at my school had mommies and daddies who didn't stay together, and realized how me and Auggie might end up like that.

I tried creating for Auggie a contract to make sure I would be taken care of if we ever separated. But when Auggie's mother: Topanga realized where I had gotten my inspiration for the contract, she finally realized what was happening at home. I finally told Auggie's parents what was going on and afterwards, I thought things might get better. They didn't. Because two days later, this morning... my daddy left.

Everything is shattered now. Both my real life and my fantasy life. It was only when my dad left that I finally realized what I had done wrong. I so desperately was trying to create a happy family, that I tried to create a perfect pretend family with Auggie, when instead I should have been trying to fix my real family. I should have gone to someone for help. I should've told people like Auggie's parents what was going on at home sooner. But when I finally did, it was too late. It was my fault my dad left. It was my fault. All my fault...


	2. Chapter 2

My name is Maya Hart. My dad left my family when I was little. For years, I thought it was my fault. I thought I had done something to make him leave, or that I could have done something to prevent him from leaving. Then I thought it was my mom's fault and that she could have done something to keep him from leaving. I eventually realized by seventh grade that I shouldn't have assumed it was my mom's fault.

I tried to put my difficult past behind me. I tried to forget how my dad being gone hurt me and made me feel broken. But every time I thought I finally did, I wound up talking about that pain again. I eventually thought the only way to get past my hurt was to confront my father about what had happened. I did confront him finally. I cried for a long time after I did, and finally I thought I was doing better. I finally thought I wouldn't have to think about the part of my past that hurt me.

Then one evening as I was sitting with Riley's family while having dinner, Ava came in. She wasn't crying but it looked she was about to. She told the Matthews that her father left. As soon as she did, everything came flooding back into my mind. All of the pain, all of the tears... everything came back. As I saw Ava sit there saying what had happened, it was like I was looking at my younger self.

Ava at one point asked what was supposed to happen next. And then I sat with her, put her on my lap, and told her what she was about to experience. I explained to her all of the emotions she was going to feel, and all of the confusing thoughts she was going to think... but then I told her how she needed to keep her friends close as she went through it. I felt like crying the whole time I talked to Ava. I thought I was going to lose it. Because as I talked to Ava, it was like an old wound had been opened on my heart.

But after I talked to Ava, I knew I had done what was right. And later that night I finally realized what the past really was to me. The past, no matter how painful it is, cannot be ignored. Because the past made you what you are, and fortunately you _can_ grow from it. So if you ignore the past: you ignore your growth, along with the lessons of growth you can share with others. Maybe this is why I connect to Shawn so easily. He helped me realize how much he grew through both his words and action. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have helped me feel better. Maybe now it's time I start to act like he did with me for those that have been through similar pain. I know it won't be easy to do. But I think I'd rather take a terrible past that has caused me only pain up until now, into something that can bring hope to others...

 **THE END**


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